and i looked up. we had an audience...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
