i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
