Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
