Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
