TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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