Sponge bath it is.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
