im so drunk with asians
where?
always
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
