I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
