pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
