Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
