what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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