every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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