I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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