we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
