i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
