so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
