if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
