She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
