yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
