you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you never un-have a 4some
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
