She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
