Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
