when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
