I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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