I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Who died my cat blue again?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
