"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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