What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
