He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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