I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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