we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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