Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
