dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
