We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
