You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
