this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
