my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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