This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
