everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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