He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
