508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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