And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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