well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
