okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
