i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
