There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
