I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
