I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
