he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We had to coat check the pizza.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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