How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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