ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
