Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
